Shih Tzus and Bill O'Reilly are two of America's most recognized animals. They are similar in origin and character. Both have ancestry that began here in America, in an expensive apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Both can be temperamental, and are often found groveling at the feet of Rupert Murdoch. Nevertheless, Shih Tzus continue to soar in popularity while Mr. O'Reilly attempts to hang on to a fading audience.
Why are Shih Tzus more popular than Bill O'Reilly? There seems to be some key differences which gives the Shih Tzu an advantage over O'Reilly. Here are a few observations I've made after watching both of them carefully over the past several weeks.
This first difference is the most obvious.
The second problem hamstringing the big guy is the choice of attire. It is after all the clothes that make the man.
Thirdly, the company a guy keeps says a lot about a man. Shih Tzus tend to hang with the plain old everyday Joe. If you don't mess with them, they don't rip your windpipe out. Bill however, needs to be more discerning. No one likes a person who shakes their finger or leaves the food bowl empty. Mr. O'Reilly might consider friends who don't bite and keep their shots up to date.
Next we have the need for computer skills. Apparently Mr. O'Reilly was under the impression that America was going to imprison anyone who did not purchase health insurance under the new health plan. All Shih Tzus knew of course that this was absurd. America is far too busy indoctrinating children in kindergarten with homosexuality to even take the time to jail people. Right Bill?
Finally, the one thing that makes Shih Tzus more popular than Bill O'Reilly is the wonderful fact that they are color blind.