Tuesday, March 8, 2011

OMG Gas Prices!

Dear America,
The media may fail to include more than a footnote to the gas prices when they take off like a wet cat, but you must know we're getting fleeced again.  Each year gas prices go up.  Food goes up.  Clothes go up, and the economy goes down.  In the end oil companies will report record breaking profits. 
Suddenly, if we flash nearly a year ahead, responsible journalists are outraged. I'm sorry, let me try that again.  OUTRAGED!  It's as if the people in the media have a supplier of fuel completely seperate from the rest of society.  It's as though they had misplaced the word "Why" for six months and finally discovered it in the back of the closet next to "High Oil Prices".  They are amazed and demand answers.

Wouldn't it be a slice of Hot Fudge Cake if one (JUST ONE) vigilant Clark Kent filled up his tank today for $75.00, and like a thunderbolt from the dirty hands in Washington, he said to himself, "Hey, that increase in gas prices is disproportionate to the increase in oil prices.  Hmmm, WTF?"  Then it might lead to the thought, "Maybe I should check the math on this.  Maybe I should use that statistical database I used to find out how many females spend over ten dollars each week at Starbucks, and try to discover how badly the American people are getting ravaged at the pump due to Corporate greed and political contributions." 
Is that possible?  Is Kent in a cape out there?

If Kent is out there I haven't seen him.  I have seen Kathy.  Kathy delivers the bad news like Spritle delivering a Candy Gram, "Gas prices jumped over night ten more cents!  Gee Bob, folks will be sad about that!"

That's Bob's cue to beguile us with, "Yes Kathy, but not as high as a herd of dairy cows that wandered into a field of marijuana yesterday in the town of Dixon!  I think I might want to avoid the cream today!"

The bottom line is I don't have the time each year to do the math.  The information provided tells you about the 19 gallons of regular gasoline made from a barrel of oil and fails to provide profit data on the remainder of the barrel. So don't think that multiplying 3.59 times 19 makes you keeper of the key.  There's a little more profit margin involved than that. The few figures I was able to stamp out on the floor with my foot, and removing both socks, is that            





Yes, sadly, never this.

No comments:

Post a Comment