Friday, May 27, 2011

Fuel Efficiency Tips For Real Americans ran an article on “Gas Saving Tips” which was removed today.  Unfortunately, it was not taken off soon enough to avoid the criticism it has coming to it.  Most articles on gas saving tips deserve a healthy crack of the bat.  It doesn’t matter how much you try to save, the out of control gas prices are going to massacre all efforts.  This particular article blew all common sense out of the water, begging on bended knee for someone to comment.   Thusly, I will oblige. 
Original Article:  No junk in the trunk: It’s one thing to toss a few grocery bags and your gym stuff in the back of your car, but quite another to haul around a cooler, a tool chest and a year’s supply of water. An extra 100 pounds can reduce your miles per gallon by up to 2 percent, according to the U.S. Department of Energy. That roof rack isn’t going to help your fuel efficiency, either.
Critique: “No junk in the trunk”:   I’m fine with this helpful tip as long as it doesn’t include the body of an Oil Company President bound and gagged until he doesn’t smile so much while I’m having my morning coffee.  I’ll  dump the tool chest, the supply of water, my Igloo cooler, and even unscrew the cheap rack from a ladder, but his sorry ass is coming along for the ride.
Original Article:  Skip the drive-through: If you routinely get a pick-me-up on the way to work, experts recommend that you park your car and walk into the coffee shop instead of waiting in the drive-through line. Chevrolet tested the theory using its Chevy Cruze and found that the person who waited 15 minutes in the drive-through line for a cup of coffee used an extra quarter gallon of gas, adding as much as $1 to the cost of that coffee splurge.
Critique: Most “Pick-me-up’s” in my state involve a two for one at five o’clock with salty snacks and a big helping of: “I’m sorry Honey my phone was on vibrate”.  True I might stand in line at 7:00 in the morning for a coffee and a McMuffin, but burning a tank of gas for 15 minutes for a $3 Starbucks is for movie stars and bankers.  For most Americans, 15 minutes in a drive-thru would result in a call to the local authorities and the lead vehicle getting rolled.   A 15 minute wait in a drive-thru for coffee indicates it’s no longer a drive-thru but rather a shipping dock in Liverpool! 
Original Article: Keep your cool: Yes, we know you’re in a hurry to get home, or to the next stop on your family vacation. Experts say that driving aggressively by accelerating fast, then hitting the brakes, is a drag on fuel economy, especially on the highway. The Department of Energy says driving sensibly can reduce your gas bill by a modest 5 percent around town, but up to 33 percent on the highway.
Critique:  Upon my first read I realized “family vacation” was a typo, as the author must know we’re living through a recession where Exxon and British Petroleum are eating Americans with both hands full, and telling politicians to pass the salt.  But when the Department of Energy statistics are quoted as a means to end the insane driving habits of Texans, Californians, New Yorkers, Tennesseans, and those of the Paleolithic Pan Handle of Florida, I realize this person does not live in America.  The last time an “expert” quoted a rational statistic on speeding and gas consumption around here, he had to be rescued from the middle of Old Hickory Lake after being strapped to the Big Boy and launched adrift.   We know driving fast is expensive, but we also know it shouldn’t be.
Maybe instead of offering tidbit tips and Government statistics the media could go after the Oil Companies and the politicians protecting them.  I can remove the middle seat in my van, pump up my tires and make my children run alongside my vehicle through the slower neighborhoods, but that’s really just “hanging on”. 
The best tip to give people is to fight back!  Take the fight to the people who are taking Oil Money.  They are Republicans and Democrats alike.  Greed doesn’t have a party.  Check out; Dirty Energy Money to see who the politicians are in your state taking the Oil Money and voting against America.  While you’re doing your job, I’ll continue scanning the comatose media for more tips we can’t use, and poking air-holes in my trunk for more CEO’s with character flaws.

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