Tuesday, May 31, 2011

30 Excuses God Hates to Hear

1.) You have to admit I’m better than I used to be.
2.) I’m sorry I thought $20 was ten percent of thirty
3.) Does that still count if it’s Thanksgiving?
4.) But that‘s what a buffet is for.
5.) Sure, if you multiply it by 66 years that is a lot of
6.) How can that count when I was in the church
    parking lot?
7.) But she was my cousin by marriage.
8.) The words were too small when I got to that part.
9.) He was dead, so I didn’t think he needed it.
10.) It was like that when I got there.
11.) I thought the word “Covet” was just a figure of
12.) She’s a liar and so is her sister.
13.) He’s a liar and so is his Dad.
14.) If Christ was Jewish then why was he a
15.) It all looks the same in the dark.
16.) I just wanted to see if it would reach that far.
17.) It's a medicine cabinet!  People expect you to go
        through it.
18.) Isn’t that why you created penicillin?
19.) If he didn't want me to take it then why does he
      keep leaving his wallet in the same place?
20.) I took the blame for that the first two times.
21.) I’m not the one who was naked.
22.) Is it stealing if it’s your family?
23.) But I swear I’m always nice to people who aren’t 
      the right color.
24.) How do you know if they’re really homeless?
25.) They wouldn’t let me join unless I did it.
26.) But they weren’t even American.
27.) Is it idolatry if you have a beer in your hand?
28.) It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve
      done but . . .
29.) Define the word “is”.
30.) If I go on Sundays I'll miss the game.

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